iceemoon:

"i’m 10% german, 14% danish, 15% norwegian, 7% …"

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Source: iceemoon via
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illaminati:

"maybe you shouldnt eat all of tha-"

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lovingfoss666:

the first step to robbing a bank is picking out a cute outfit

Source: lovingfoss666 via

cokeflow:

You sing along to Panic At The Disco or you hop out of my car and walk

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souljannoying:

in order to correctly speak German you have to yell everything angrily 

Source: pemsylvania via

timelordangel:

we’ve all got that weird pretty big secret that we don’t really hide but like we don’t flaunt it like “My brother died of cancer” or “I’m gay” or “I tried to kill myself last year” or anything really and when you find out somebody’s big plot twist you know you’re in this friendship for the long run

Source: timelordangel via
I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

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Source: fictionalfeather via

affectin:

i am not the same person at 8am and 8pm

Source: affectin via

handjob:

when someone gets called out for saying something problematic & they try justifying it

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Source: handjob via
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africandad:

"touch my butt and buy me pizza"

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Source: africandad via