May 2013
big-booty-itches:
when your parents ask you to help them with technology
ehhhr:
has anyone tried typing with their boner
the-fandoms-are-cool:
darrynek:
hey kid wanna see a magic trick *reaches behind your ear* ready? *rips your ear off* where’d it go
I’m so mad you didn’t say “where’d it van gogh?”
plot twist: yahoo buys tumblr and we get proper blocking features, lockable posts, a sent folder in messages/fanmail with a better interface, ability to search multiple tags, removal of the post and message limits, proper search engines for likes/archives and removing that bloody "reblog as a link" option.
rnemes:
gudnam:
gudnam:
i hate mac and cheese
i just lost a follower
u deserved it
inbox:
why doesnt tumblrbot hit ask limit
and theyre like ew what grunge softener are you using
rapewhistled:
*16 year old girl voice* um shut the fuck up thanks
svveetlemonade:
me doing math homework
what doesn’t kill u makes u stronger HAHAHAHA BULLSHIT
MY UTERUS IS EATING ME ALIVE
Anonymous asked: i was scrolling through my dash, saw a post of yours and had to scroll back up cos for a second i read your url as crystallized-tomatoseeds. if you ever want to change your url, please do me one favour and consider making it crystallized-tomatoseeds, it has a lovely ring to it.
kenway:
last quarter of the school year more like
unluckyships:
when a friend asks you for a piece of paper and 12 other kids ask you too
excalilbur:
when the person you like talks to you first
princeowl:
when kids complain about school or joke about dropping out im pretty sure theyre not saying that they dont want an education theyre saying that the school system is flawed and horrible and makes them feel shitty about themselves and doesnt provide a good environment for learning
pornolympics:
i’m a fragile little bumble bee please do not hurt my feelings
fonmasterguard:
So no one at my friend’s old high school is allowed to dress up for halloween anymore because one year this kid came to school on a bike wearing a red jumpsuit with tampons taped to him. He rode around the school telling people he was the menstrual cycle
maleteen:
people who say pop instead of soda are not my friends they are my enemies
wurnbo:
did i allow u to have fun without me
have u ever accidentally opened the wrong cabinet in ur kitchen and it’s just like wtf how long have i lived here again
au-rev0ir:
if i marry someone attractive and our kids end up with my face i’m going to be seriously pissed
poopflow:
cause of death: second hand embarrassment
homurica:
urbancatfitters:
no no no no no no no no no no no no no
the circle of life
inbox:
do you ever look at a post and think “nah I won’t reblog it” but then you see someone you like more reblogged it so you reblog it from them
randomstuff134:
sodamnrelatable:
take a moment to realize you have never seen your face in person, just reflections and pictures
some scientists agree that if you saw a clone of yourself, you wouldn’t recognise it as you, because our idea of what we look like is so different from what we actually look like
dampsandwich:
i personally dont give a shit where waldo is
hitlersbreastmilk:
thongs??? ew a respectable girl only wears diapers u gross devil slut
